*This blog post today is from my heart and may be too intense, crazy, hopefully inspiring, but probably a mixture of all. Consider yourself warned.*
Have you ever heard the quote, “Let your past make you better, not bitter?” Have you ever truly processed that quote?
Lately I’ve found myself in a state of wondering, learning, and growing up.
Ever since I was little I have always struggled with making good friends. … Now let me explain that.
I have always had friends. And they were good people. I didn’t ever get in with the “wrong crowd,” in all actuality the groups I’ve always hung out with have been the “good” crowd, and I’ve been the cautious one even with them.
Sometimes I fear that I’m too uptight, and not willing to go out there and just let myself do whatever I want. I’m in my 20s, right? Why do I always have to be the mature, professional one?
Yet…. I am. Sure, I have fun, but when I compare myself *BIG MISTAKE* to other friends in their 20s, I wonder if I am missing out on some things.
Back to the friends thing… So i’ve always had friends, but its always been hard for me to become really good friends with people. And oftentimes I wonder if there is something wrong with me? Has anyone ever had this thought? I’ve gone so far as to ask hubs, “Is there really something weird about me? Do I have a mental illness that no one is telling me about?” Yes. I’ve asked those questions. Because my whole life, its been like this…
There are friends you have.
But you’re always the one left out.
They talk with each other more.
No one is truly your best friend.
You put yourself out there, but then … they hang out together but you didn’t get the phone call.
So why am I talking about all of this? I guess because I just needed to let it all out.
My husband has been the only best friend I have ever had that I know will never leave me, never judge me, will always want to hang out with me, will tell me everything that is going on whether its good or bad. He loves to hang out with me, and gets so happy when we both get home from work/school and see each other.
He’s been the answer to my prayers.
Yes, I still long for that girl “best friend,” but ya know what, maybe that will come later? For now, God’s provided me with who I needed, and my best friend has all my attention. :) You’d think we just started dating or somethin’… sheesh. ;)
But now, remember that quote? “Let Your Past Make You BETTER, Not Bitter.”
So, how can this make me better?
– I can be more aware about friends around me.
– Be thankful for what I have.
– Help other girls that struggle with making friends.
– Watch for those ones that get left out. And as a teacher, this is something I am always watching out for with my kids. And then, trying to get them to be a part, and make friends.
“Let your past make you BETTER, not bitter.”
How can you apply this to your life?
Whats happened in your past that has caused you to become bitter?
How can you turn that around? Make that thing turn you into something BETTER.
“Let your past make you better, not bitter.”
You totally spoke right to me with this post! I have friends but I just don’t feel like any of us keeps up with each other anymore. I also compare myself and wonder if I’m not “living life” enough. I think it’s especially hard when I read blogs and think “wow this person has a more fun life than me, why don’t I do things like this?” I’ve been trying to enjoy life more and not be so uptight about things and worry so much about others perception of me and truly do what I want with my life. It’s definitely a struggle but I think it’s something we all go through!
And that’s awesome that your hubs is your best friend – that’s how it’s supposed to be, isn’t it? =D
I totally understand where you are coming from, ever since I was young I haven’t had a best friend that have lasted for more than a year. I get amazed when people say they have been friends with someone for 12 years, am like what is wrong with me? As I continue to grow in my relationship with Christ, I realize that there is nothing wrong with me. I have the faith that at the right time I will meet the best friend ordained for me by God, in the meantime I am enjoying life with Jesus and I will continue to do so every after that awesome best friend comes around.
Well…I think you are talking about most people. You have two awesome comments above mine that feel the same way you do. Ahem…me too! Your Dad has been my best friend for over 25 years now and I have always wondered if there was something wrong with me because I don’t have that “best girlfriend…” Not sure that’s the way God meant it to be. Oh yes…there are friends that I talk to and have fun meeting for coffee or lunch…just not someone that I want to vacation with and spend my every waking moment with. I think that if you want to spend more time with your friend and not your husband…something is wrong. Besides you have a great sister, too! ;-) I hope I am making sense here. There is nothing wrong and you are not missing anything. There are more people who feel like you than the other way around…
AMEN AND AMEN! Hah!
I feel like I understand what you’re talking about, unfortunately :( I’ve always had a hard time making and keeping friends that are girls.
I too have asked if something is wrong with me because sometimes I just don’t understand.
&& I’m so grateful for my husband as well. He’s the best friend that I’ve always needed.
You aren’t alon in your struggles. Thanks for sharing your heart with us! :)
On point. Lady! I’ve been out of college for seven years and now that my friends and I are all in different points in our lives, I struggle so much with keeping in touch. Acknowledging the problem is the first step!
I have been wanting to post on this forever… ever since I moved away from my hometown and went to college, I realized I have a really hard time making new friends. A lot of my best friends in the past have either moved away or I moved away – and then we don’t stay in touch, even with Facebook and all. I had to watch my childhood BFF’s stay friends when I moved away and attend each other’s weddings while I sat in Utah without an invite. I dunno, friends come and go, but I’ve cherished the relationships I’ve had and realized I needed them in different times in my life. Even though it hurts losing friends, I have to remind myself to always be open to new friendships and new people – it’s how I keep growing! Through it all my husband has been my very best friend – always there for me and always by my side. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that! And hell- if you get divorced, there’s always family – the best friends you were born into!
I’m in the same boat, Bree! And you know what? You’ll learn to embrace it. I promise. :) There isn’t anything wrong with you. I think you’re lovely, for the record. People just relate differently. I’ve never had a group of close girlfriends. I have best friends, but they’re all from different part of my life. My best friends were never in one place until my wedding day! I didn’t have bridesmaids, but they were my Something Blue. :) I’ve often felt left out or like I was missing something, but I’ve decided that it must be because I’m so independent. ;) I’ve never needed a friend to call and text all day. I’ve never felt compelled to spend every weekend with the same people. It’s not a bad or wrong thing. It’s just who I am. I am fiercely loyal to the friends I do have, and although I may not have a ton of close friends, those that I do have are amazing. :) Life is what you make it. Forget about the “best friend” titles. Just be good to others, surround yourself with people you admire, and have fun!
I’ve been in so many different groups of friends over the years, but I have never had that “best friend” you can always count on 24/7. It’s disappointed me for as log as I can remember and I would be lying if I said it got better. I’ve learned to deal with it, mostly thanks to my fiancé, but it is still hard. I’ll be praying for you!
And I totally appreciate how real you were with this post!
Totally in the midst of friendship confusion/frustration problems. This post was so nice to read-I am glad there are other people who can empathize. Part of my problem is me, but I just have difficulty with how much do I need to blame myself and how much to blame other people.
Bree-This is my heart too. I couldnt have said it better.
I’ll be praying for you. thanks for having the courage to write your little heart out!
New follower via the GFC Hop :) I honestly really loved this post. You’re so brave and amazing for putting all this out there and sharing with us, and then inspiring us. I will always remember that lovely quote…great musings on a Monday :)
Found you through the GFC Hop and so glad I did. Going through infertility often makes people bitter. Although our struggle has been quite painful, I refuse to let is break me down. Instead, I want to spread awareness and help other people through our unfortunate experience. I love RWAL blogs with substance. Thank you for this.
I love this post! I can totally relate. Thanks so much for sharing and being so honest. I’m so glad I found you through the blog hop! :)
The Little Giggler
Bree, thanks for sharing this so all of us girls who feel the same way know that we are not alone.
I love this quote – making life better rather than bitter. Such a good message!
I really appreciate how open and honest you were in sharing this… I know that I ave felt this way, more than once. I don’t think there’s anything “wrong” with you that you’re risk averse, and I don’t think you’re missing out on anything either. You have your ENTIRE LIFE to have experiences, and gain the wisdom to decide what things you will and will not try. I admire that you’ve taken a step back and not gone with the crowd when they do things you’re unsure about!
And as for the best friend thing, I also understand this. It seems like friends can slide right out of your life as quickly as they come in. I had a blogger who met her best friend through blogging tell me that she had never had a best friend until she met her through blogging, and that it was absolutely worth the wait. I kinda of thought it sounded like marriage at the time, and maybe it is — the level of commitment you have to have for both is so high, the level of vulnerability you have to show. So I’ll tell you what she told me. Your BEST best friend is out there searching for you, even as you’re seeking her. And just like you managed to find your husband, your best friend will come into your life at just the right moment.
i am shy, so that naturally hinders me a bit. but ironically, i’m convinced that if i didn’t text first, i’d never hear from anyone!
this is a great post. im new to you here and i love your blog design, so clean and the simplicity is really nice. im following via the blog hop-thanks so much for co-hosting.
come by and visit me http://www.kendrakaypahukoa.blogspot.com
have a really great week!
Im new to your blog, im from the hop . Im new to this here big old blogosphere trying to make some friends :-)
I ca totally relate to this!!!
following from the hop. Would love for you to visit me @www.laughwithash.blogspot.com