Do you ever have those weeks where you just feel off from the get-go? Day one, Monday, and you wake up late, grab a quick breakfast of those leftover cookies from the weekend, have a bad hair day, and skip the gym because you’re tired?
We’ve alllllll been there. So, here are some things to do to EMBRACE MONDAY and all that it brings on. And when someone asks why you’re acting so different, just say I’ve Been Changed!!
Now. Follow these directions to the T. Don’t skip one, or you’re doomed for a horrible week.
- Eat It All. All those leftover treats from the weekend, yummy bread you have leftover from Saturday nights dinner, or those chips and dip from that party you went to? Eat it all NOW. If you don’t you’re doomed for failure. You will end up munching on it all day, or worse, throwing it all away!!! (insert- starving children in Africa story) Nope, no good, eat it all! And when you run out, run by CVS on your way home and get more.
- Don’t eat any fruit or veggies. You need to make sure you get all the junk in your system, who needs that healthy food? Psh. You deserve this, it’s a new week! No fruit or veggies!
- Take the elevator. Stairs? No, you may pass out! Remember all that sugar you’ve had this morning? (because we all know you drove through Starbucks for that extra sugary frap on the way to work) You will walk half way up the stairs, run out of oxygen and then pass out. DO NOT TAKE THE STAIRS. You must take the elevator- this is for your safety!
- Skip the water. No need to detox your body of “impurities” from the weekend. You’re not having fruit and veggies remember? #winning #killingtwobirds Feel free to drink all the soda, sweet tea, and any other sugary loaded drinks you’d like.
- Don’t go to the gym. Remember the talk we just had about the stairs? You’ve had all that sugar, caffeine, and repeat (because you were probably really tired today right? – blame it on the weekend). So the gym is absolutely out of the question! In fact, on your way home….
- Order takeout. Pizza, Chinese, Kentucky Fried Chicken, whatever fits your fancy. Heck, if you can get all of the above!! Drive through a few of them, and order a few, head home and grab that remote and give it a big smooch. It’s missed you all day! Then land your butt on that couch and make sure it knows its loved. Do not move. Get the dog to bring you anything you need. That’s what you got him for right? He doesn’t need a walk now, because he’s bringing you things! #winningagain
Now that my friends, is how you start your week off right!! #winning